Key Takeaways
- Sin sod is money (sometimes gold, jewelry, or property) given by the groom to the bride’s parents to demonstrate financial responsibility. It is not a bride price.
- The amount is negotiated and depends mainly on the wealth of both families and the bride’s education and social status. Ranges vary widely from THB100,000 in rural settings to much higher amounts in Bangkok.
- You can negotiate sin sod either with your fiancée present or through her — most families are flexible when approached respectfully and honestly.
- In many cases the money is returned to the couple after the ceremony, though this is not guaranteed and should not be assumed.
- Refusing to offer any sin sod can cause lasting tension with your wife’s family, even if her parents say they do not require it.
- Gold and jewelry count as part of sin sod and are displayed at the ceremony; they typically stay with the bride regardless of whether the cash portion is returned.
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When you get married to a Thai in Thailand, your wedding will work very differently than it would back home.
This is because in Thailand, when two people are married there are more traditions to uphold.
One of those traditions in sin sod, which you present to your fiancee’s parent(s) when you marry.
Usually, money is the most popular form of sin sod. But sometimes, sin sod comes in the form of gold or jewelry, property, cars, or a mix of all.
Also, since I’ve never had to offer sin sod to my Thai wife’s mother (we were married in America and then moved to Thailand), I’m going to write this guide using the experiences of my friends, Thailand Starter Kit readers, and Redditors who did offer sin sod when they married.
Keep in mind that their names and locations have been changed to protect their identity.
With that said, let’s look at what sin sod is, what it isn’t, how it works in Thailand, and how much you can expect to offer – if you choose to take part in the tradition.
Contents
- Key Takeaways
- What is Sin Sod?
- Who Gives Sin Sod?
- Who Approaches the Parents About Sin Sod?
- How Much Sin Sod Do You Have to Offer?
- Sin Sod Calculator
- Do You Really Need to Give Sin Sod?
- Who Keeps the Sin Sod?
- What is Sin Sod Used For?
- How Expats in Thailand Feel About Sin Sod
- What to be Aware Of
- Sin Sod and Divorces
- How to Have the Sin Sod Talk
- What Real Couples Actually Paid
- Now, on to You
What is Sin Sod?
Sin sod is the money you offer to your future Thai wife’s parents to show that you’re financially able to take care of their daughter.
Also, you offer sin sod to your Thai fiancee’s parents at your Thai wedding, and you may or may not get the money back afterwards (more about this later).
To Westerners, it may seem like an odd concept to give money to your fiancee’s parents, especially since we’re raised to believe that you get married for love.
However, sin sod is not a dowry. That is, you’re not paying for your wife. The money you offer as sin sod is used to show that you can take care of your future wife.
Who Gives Sin Sod?
In the United States, the bride’s father usually pays for his daughter’s wedding ceremony – a great benefit for the groom.
But sorry, fellas. In Thailand, the man offers the sin sod to his Thai girlfriend’s parents.
This goes for Thai men as well as non-Thai men, which means that if you get married to your Thai wife in Thailand, you’re supposed to offer sin sod to your fiancee’s parents, no matter where in the world you come from.
In rare cases, you may be able to avoid the tradition, but most of the time you’ll be hard-pressed not to find some form of sin sod being offered at a Thai wedding.
Out of curiosity, I asked my mother-in-law if I would have to offer her sin sod if my wife and I decided to have another ceremony in Thailand, and she jokingly said I could put a 1,000-baht note on a stack of 20-baht notes, then get it all back in the end.
Although my wife and I decided not to go through with a second wedding in Thailand, it was good to know that should we ever go through with it, I wouldn’t have to come out of pocket.
But I know many people who have offered sin sod.
As you’ll see in the sections that follow, most of the cases differ. But before we get into how much sin sod you have to offer, let’s look at how to approach the whole matter.
Who Approaches the Parents About Sin Sod?
When it comes to approaching your Thai fiancee’s parents about sin sod, you can do it in either one of two ways.
You can go with your wife to talk to her parents together, or you can let your wife talk to her parents without you there.
One of our readers – we’ll call him Mike – chose the latter, but first he discussed it in detail with his fiancee. Then she went to her parents’ house and talked it over with them to settle on an amount before the ceremony.
Barry, another one of our readers from the United Kingdom, married a Thai woman from a family of traditional farmers in Ubon, and he talked about sin sod only with his fiancee and not her parents.
One of my friends, Tom, did the opposite. He went with his fiancee to talk to her parents about sin sod and made a proposal of how much he could offer, which they were okay with – and which leads into the next section.
How Much Sin Sod Do You Have to Offer?
The amount of sin sod you offer to your Thai fiancee’s parents could depend on three things:
- how wealthy you are
- how wealthy your future in-laws think you are
- how wealthy your new family will be
In general, sin sod can range from 100,000 baht to one million baht (remember, it can be in the form of gold or property as well). Although sin sod could be lower or higher in some cases.
But don’t get your bank notes into a bunch. No one’s expecting you to give your Thai fiancee’s parents millions of baht, even if you do have it laying around.
With that said, what can you expect to pay?
- Two of my friends married Thai women from middle-class families. They needed to give a Sin Sod of 200,000 baht each. However, both girls’ families did not keep the Sin Sod. Instead, they returned it all to my friends.
- Steve, a British expat, gave his future in-laws 100,000 baht after negotiating the amount down, and that was only after mutually agreeing that the money had to be used for home improvements before the actual wedding ceremony.
- George, another of our readers, said that in lieu of sin sod, he took his Thai wife on a trip around Europe, which came out to more than 100,000 baht.
- However, one Redditor gave 50 thousand baht as sin sod even though his in-laws never expected him to do so.
Sin Sod Calculator
There’s no fixed price for sin sod, but the questions below will give you a realistic starting figure to talk through with your fiancée and her family. Answer each one and your estimate updates as you go.
Keep in mind this only gives you a rough idea of what tends to be reasonable, not a number you have to hand over. Treat the result as an opening point for a respectful negotiation, not a bill.
Her Family
Circumstances
What You’ll Present
This calculator is only a guide to help you set expectations before the conversation. Every family is different, and the real amount comes down to what feels right between you, your partner, and her parents. The best thing you can do is talk it through with them openly and honestly, ideally with your partner leading the way.
Do You Really Need to Give Sin Sod?
It totally depends on each family. Some Thai families do expect Sin Sod and always ask for it. Some may give back all of the Sin Sod with additional pocket money as a marriage gift.
Other families may not ask for Sin Sod at all.
For example, one Redditor refrained from offering sin sod since it was against his culture, and his mother-in-law-to-be was fine with his choice.
Another Redditor who considers him and his wife millennials said that his progressive in-laws never expected sin sod and just wanted him and his wife to be happy.
One of our most unique stories comes from a man named Achim. He married a Thai woman but they were living in China at the time.
His fiancee dropped the bomb on him that he had to show some money at the wedding they were planning in Thailand, but he didn’t have anything to offer because they were already paying for a wedding with hundreds of guests.
His sister, a banker, suggested that he have one of those larger-than-life checks made up (the kind from the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes TV commercials back in the day), and hand that over to his future in-laws at the wedding.
With the help of his sister, he had a giant, real bank check made out and presented it at the wedding. Luckily for him, his wife’s parents never cashed the check.
The world is changing, and with that said, so are the traditions of sin sod.
It’s not out of the ordinary for a Thai woman (or her family) to let her future husband borrow money so that he can present it at the wedding as sin sod for the sake of tradition.
Other expats transfer money into Thailand from a bank account in their home country.
Who Keeps the Sin Sod?
As you’ve probably noticed in this guide to sin sod, most of the important stuff depends on the family you’re marrying into – and this goes for the actual returning of sin sod as well.
Just because you marry into a middle- or upper-class family, don’t expect to get your sin sod back. On the same token, don’t expect a family to keep your sin sod if they are hard up for cash.
Someone created a survey on a local form about the returning of sin sod. The survey shows that 48 out of 75 families polled said they returned the sin sod. Ten of those families returned only a partial portion of the sin sod. And 17 of the families didn’t return the sin sod.
With that said, whether you get your sin sod back after your marriage is solely based on your in-laws.
In some other cases, the bride’s parents may return the sin sod and give additional money to the newlyweds to help them start their new life together.
One Redditor didn’t like the idea of sin sod, but he did it anyway out of respect for the tradition, and he suggests that other men who marry Thai wives should do the same — or find another bride instead of making your soon-to-be wife look bad.
With that covered, let’s look at the ways in which Thai families use sin sod.
What is Sin Sod Used For?
Again, this depends on the family and what they need. If they keep the sin sod, they may use it to renovate their home, buy additional land, property, or cars, or pay off debt, as was the case of Mike.
Instead of presenting money at his wedding ceremony, he forgave his new in-laws on a loan they had taken out from him.
Sin sod may also be used to help pay for the wedding expenses.
As you can see, sin sod is used for many reasons.
But now that we know how Thais feel about sin sod, let’s see what your fellow expats have to say about it.
How Expats in Thailand Feel About Sin Sod
Sin sod may be a strange tradition for non-Thais to uphold, but as for now the custom is here to stay whether we like or it not.
Many of the people I’ve asked who either gave or didn’t give sin sod felt the same way, that it taints the idea of marriage.
One expat, Sammy, thought it was a complete waste of time and weird. He called it an old tradition that needs to be overcome.
Another reader, Miguel, felt that the tradition shouldn’t be upheld. According to him, he buys bread, milk, and clothes – not a woman’s love.
Blaine put it simply, saying he’s never been an advocate of sin sod.
What to be Aware Of
Where there’s money, there’s going to be corruption. It’s part of human nature. And there’s no difference when it comes to sin sod.
The truth is, some people will take an innocent tradition and use it to their advantage.
You can read horror stories on forums about this happening or watch unsuspecting YouTubers talk about how they’re about to hand over a wad of cash to their future Thai wife’s family, despite all the warnings in the comments.
Pritam, an expat from India, knew something was up when his girlfriend wanted to jump into a marriage with him and asked for 100,000 baht.
He knew she had been previously married and that her mom collected sin sod from that marriage. So he felt like the family had a shady business going on.
Needless to say, he called her out on it and their relationship fell apart.
When it comes to sin sod – and marriage in general – it’s best to use common sense. Otherwise, you may end up paying twice – once for the marriage, and another time for the divorce.
Sin Sod and Divorces
What happens when you marry, hand over cash, gold, or property to your in-laws, and then later on get divorced?
Simply said, don’t expect to get your money back. Once you hand it over, consider it gone – forever.
How to Have the Sin Sod Talk
If you’ve been dating in Thailand and feel like you’ve met the right woman and are getting more serious about your relationship, it may be time to start talking about marriage and the tradition of sin sod.
If this is the case, don’t always expect your future wife to bring up the topic first. Your Thai fiancee may be so used to the idea that it may come as an afterthought.
With that in mind, sin sod is not some taboo subject to be avoided. It’s a part of Thai tradition and something that you should embrace if you plan on getting married in the country.
You can easily approach your Thai fiancee to open up the conversation, and she’ll most likely help you from there.
What Real Couples Actually Paid
A calculator only takes you so far, so here is what actually changed hands. In a long Reddit thread where foreign husbands and a few Thai spouses compared notes, the amounts ran from nothing at all to THB10 million. The stories sorted themselves into a few clear camps.
A Lot of Couples Paid Nothing
Zero came up more than any other answer, usually with the same reasons attached.
- Working-class families often skip it. “It was never discussed, offered or even mentioned. She’s from a working class background,” wrote one husband. Several others simply replied “same here.”
- Modern and Bangkok families frequently wave it off. One man married to a “modern Thai wife from Bangkok” paid nothing. Another said his wife quietly told her family beforehand not to ask, because she wanted to avoid any friction.
- Some families find it insulting. As one put it, “middle class and upper class families find it insulting.” A few couples received money or property from the bride’s side instead, including one who was given land for a house and a business.
Millions on the Table, All Given Back
The eye-watering figures almost always came with a twist: the cash went straight back to the couple.
- THB5 million, returned. A half-Thai husband in the South paid THB5 million to a land-owning family. “We knew in advance the money would be given back but had to act surprised and blessed,” he said. The couple still helps support his mother-in-law every month.
- THB10 million, round-tripped. One well-off couple in their late twenties saw THB5 million come from each family, handed over at the ceremony and promptly moved into their joint account for a house deposit. He knew friends who “paid” as much as THB40 million the same way.
- Six figures for show. Sums of THB200,000 to THB1 million were common among middle-class couples, presented at the ceremony and returned the same day. One man offered THB1 million and gold purely for display, and his in-laws did not even want that.
When the Money Really Was Handed Over
- Poorer rural families. One husband gave THB200,000 to a “very poor village of very happy people who could use the money,” glad to share it. Another paid THB300,000 for the “whole village package” and a set of rings.
- Kept by choice. Some couples let the family keep a smaller sum after the fact out of gratitude, like the man whose middle-class Bangkok in-laws kept the THB200,000 he had first presented just for show.
The Red Flags
Not every request was made in good faith.
- One man was asked for THB500,000 plus THB250,000 in gold by the mother of a woman who already had two children and THB750,000 in personal debt. He walked away, and later felt he had dodged a bullet.
- The recurring warning: if a partner keeps pushing for a large sin sod after you have explained you are against it, treat that as information. As one blunt commenter put it, “nothing good will come from it.”
How Thais in the Thread Framed It
- It is mostly about face. Several Thai and half-Thai commenters stressed that sin sod is tradition and display more than a transaction, especially in wealthier families where everyone knows the money comes back to the couple.
- Sometimes the couple funds it themselves. One Thai woman explained that many couples quietly save toward the sin sod together, hand it over as ritual, then receive it back to start their life. The man just buys a nice ring.
- Guest gifts can cover the day. Between returned sin sod and cash gifts from hundreds of guests, more than one couple came out of their wedding roughly even, or even ahead.
The through-line matches what the calculator is really telling you: the number matters far less than the honest conversation behind it.
Now, on to You
Like anywhere in the world, marriage is serious business.
Add sin sod to the matter and it becomes a whole lot more business-like, though.
At least you have a few firsthand experiences to help you decide if you want to take part in the tradition of sin sod or skip the custom altogether.
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