Knowing where to go is one thing, but actually meeting people and making connections is another thing altogether. As we all know, social interaction can be a minefield at times.
Who do you approach? What if you say the wrong thing? What do you have to offer these people, and what do they have to offer you? And how do you get that across without sounding needy, or arrogant, or as if you’re only thinking about your career?
Obviously we can’t promise to turn you into Don Draper or anything, but here’s some advice to help your networking run a little smoother.
Meeting People
First, realize that there are few places that are totally off-limits when it comes to networking. You can make connections everywhere and anywhere.
Don’t be afraid to start up a conversation with the stranger sitting next to you on the bus or in line at the sandwich shop, particularly if you overhear a conversation that you feel you could jump in on.
Obviously, don’t throw self-awareness completely to the wind—do recognize when it’s clear that people don’t want to be disturbed and act accordingly.
That being said, some places are more likely to yield better results than others.
Meeting people during leisure activities can often be more effective than meeting people at professional events. Not only do you have something in common with that person at the gym, but they may work in a different field and it gives you the chance to expand your network in a different direction.
You’re also no longer under pressure to make connections at work, so the process of socializing is much more natural and easier. And best of all, chances are you’re enjoying yourself, too.
Joining a sports team or taking part in a collaborative creative effort (life drawing, open mics, etc.) is a great way to meet new people and build a sense of camaraderie with strangers.
Coffee shops are also a good place to make some new contacts. People commonly use coffee shops as workspaces. Noticing that person next to you is also into web design is a great conversation starter.
Finally, if you’re a drinker, don’t discount that oldest of networking venues—the humble bar. Alcohol is a great social lubricant, making it easy to start up conversations. Do remember to drink responsibly, though. Alcohol’s tongue-loosening powers do make it easier to say something you’ll regret later.
Approaching People
So, you’re in a coffee shop, yoga class, or networking event. Potential contacts who could make or break your career are swarming all around you. How do you make that all-important first move?
Here are some useful ideas for putting yourself out there.
Be Approachable
Remember, chances are none of the people here know you yet. How do you expect to make yourself known to them if you hide in a corner sipping a drink?
It can be a bit jarring, but you’ve got to suck up the courage and put yourself out there. Put on your best smile and stand somewhere central, where you can be seen. Don’t be afraid to make eye contact with people—they won’t bite.
Open With a Question
No one likes a braggart. Starting a conversation by gushing about your achievements is a sure way to turn people off immediately. Show some interest in the person you’re talking to by asking about them. It doesn’t have to be anything deep or personal.
“How are you enjoying the conference?” or “How did you get into (insert career here)?” are always nice, neutral icebreakers.
Show Genuine Interest
Chances are that there’s something interesting about the person you’re speaking to. Maybe they invented some unique marketing technique that has since become industry standard. Maybe they once took a bullet for the president.
Zero in on what they seem to be passionate about and don’t just wait for your turn to speak. Act interested. Ask good follow-up questions, maintain eye contact (don’t drift off to the TV in the corner of the room), and ensure they know you’re giving them your undivided attention.
Have an Elevator Speech
An elevator speech is the idea that you should be able to express any truly good idea in the time it takes to ride in an elevator.
You need to have a snappy, thirty-second pitch describing what you’re about, what you’re working on, and what you hope to achieve. Remember, if you’re at a networking event the odds are that those around you will be talking to a heck of a lot of people. They don’t have time to listen to your unabridged autobiography. Keep it short and intriguing.
Building and Maintaining Connections
There are two schools of thought on effective networking that can be summed up briefly as either “quantity over quality” or “quality over quantity.”
In short, it’s either better to amass as many contacts as possible, or to focus purely on nurturing a few good contacts. Those in favor of the former would argue that it’s best to have lots of contacts in lots of different fields on the basis that you “never know when you’re going to need someone.”
Those in favor of the latter would argue that only a handful of connections are truly capable of making a difference in your career, and you should keep up good relations with those people instead of burning yourself out trying to keep everyone happy.
Personally, I’d lean towards the “quality over quantity” side of things. I think good relationships with good people are not only healthier from a social perspective, but can also reap better rewards further down the line. Here’s how to effectively build and maintain a good list of contacts.
Narrow Down Your Network
Consultant Andrew Sobel says you should be able to narrow your network down to about twenty quality contacts, who he describes as the critical few. These are the people who you feel have (or potentially could) help you most in your career.
You should be doing everything you can to stay in touch with these people—meet up frequently, find out their interests (e.g., head out for a game of golf with them), and so on.
Don’t Neglect Your Network
However, at the same time, don’t completely neglect the rest of your network. As was stated above, you never know when you might need these people. But more importantly, it’s just good manners. A birthday or Christmas card, the occasional email, or a brief chat on Facebook can show you still care.
Invest Time in Your Contacts
Following on from this, make sure you invest some time in your contacts before asking for anything from them. This shouldn’t just be done for cynical reasons (i.e., I’ll help you now if you help me in the future).
Maintaining good relationships is eventually its own reward. Go above and beyond to help the people in your network. Make recommendations, connect them to others in similar fields, and so on. The positive feelings you generate will help make future business relationships run a lot smoother.
Next: read this exclusive article on recommended networking options in Thailand.
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